Doing the Laundry


It is funny that this everyday act has come to mean so much to me.

I don’t like laundry. It is a continuous but undeniably important task in the running of a home.

Mom is my uniform clean?

Did you wash my black dress pants?

Mom I spilled something on my shirt. Can you get it out?

It never ends.

I was just sitting here matching socks and folding underwear from a load of whites. I made sure each sock was turned right side out and that everything was folded nicely and put away. It is a very purposeful task for me these days and one I take extra time and care with.

It has not always been so. Now don’t get me wrong. I have always washed and folded, organized and put away laundry. It’s just that in the time (a year or so) before we mended our relationship I didn’t do this for him. Sure I washed the laundry but I pretty much gave him socks and underwear back however I wanted. Sometimes I matched and folded things, and sometimes not. No care. No attention.

His mother is a master at doing laundry. She worked retail for years and can truly fold clothes like no one I know. When she is done it looks like the clothes just came from the store. It’s a high standard. Laundry is important to him. I knew he wanted his things to be just so and I didn’t do it on purpose. I am not proud to admit that.

That is all different now. The laundry is very purposeful for me now especially his laundry. It is not an act of submission or service for me. I know many outside this lifestyle might not get that. They would see me folding his laundry in a very particular way and see it as a wife serving her husband and of course in a way it is, but for me it is so much more. It is an act of love and caring. It’s a tangible sign of my feelings for him. Doing this for him makes him feel cared for and gives me a specific way to show him that I care. It is an outward sign of how our relationship has changed.

We have never talked about this. It will be interesting what his reaction to this post will be. It is not the kind of thing that he would bring up to me but something that I am fairly sure he notices and appreciates.

Sometimes it is the everyday acts that show the most to those we love.

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16 Comments

  1. faerie

     /  05/25/2012

    My husband isn’t particular about his laundry, but he always appreciates that I wash and fold and put it away for him. I even clean out his drawers for him when needed. It is most definitely an act of love on my part. It also makes doing something you are going to be doing anyway a little more satisfying.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  05/26/2012

      It does make it more satisfying that’s for sure. Thanks Faerie.

      Reply
  2. It’s so true! Those little things count…and everyday chores don’t seem so mundane when there’s special meaning behind it. Sweet post:)

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  05/26/2012

      I’m glad you liked it. The little things do have more meaning now.

      Reply
  3. Good for you! I am sure he has noticed, just hasn’t said anything. I am not sure if a husband who is not doing ttwd would notice or even care, but I know DH enjoys being able to go into his closet and find his favorite sweats clean every single day. (Leftover from exwife, she used to half piles of clean clothes in front of the dryer on the floor for everybody to get their stuff out.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  05/26/2012

      Some husbands might not notice or care but he does and he told me he notices now which is nice. Thanks.

      Reply
  4. Little acts of love like this are neat and I’m glad you write about them Zoe. I need to pay more attention to the everyday things.

    It will be really interesting to see his reaction to this post.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  05/26/2012

      He was very touched by the post which made me feel good. He laughed at the part about his mother because it is so true.

      Little acts of love… yes that is what it is.

      Reply
  5. Oh, I love, love, love this post! It is true that such little things can speak so deeply of devotion.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  05/26/2012

      I’m so glad you like it. Things like this really can make a difference.

      Reply
  6. I definitely appreciate my wife doing the laundry–she does a MUCH better job than I ever did by myself, and it’s always nice to have clean, folded clothes. I hadn’t really thought of it as an “act of service” before…it’s just been one of our household chores, equivalent to my cooking or doing the dishes. Still, I get what you’re saying in your post. I guess it’s a way of saying “I love you”.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  05/26/2012

      It truly is a way of saying “I love you.” I have to do it anyway but by taking extra time with his things I show him that he is important to me. Thanks for commenting!

      Reply
  7. Aww, really sweet that you do this for him and recognize how much it means. The little things really do matter sometimes.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  05/26/2012

      Thanks Riley. It is nice to be able to show him that he matters to me.

      Reply
  8. Dee

     /  05/26/2012

    Ah this is sooo sweet. Even though Mitch and I don’t live together, I do all his washing/drying/folding. It’s not because he’s incapable, but because I offered. And it makes me feel good to look after him in this way. (ps: I’ve only lost one sock so far 🙂

    Dee x

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  05/26/2012

      Loosing socks!!!! The bain of my existence but then I think it must be for most. I can’t decide if it is the washer or dryer that eats them. Stupid socks.

      Reply

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