He just came in and pointed to the bedroom. I knew. I knew that I had broken his rules about his car and it was deserved. It was a quick, sharp reminder to follow the rules. He said if I do it again it will be double. I believe him.
So why do I find myself sitting here with a stingy behind and a smile on my face? It seems such contradiction but it’s true.
When I think about it though I know why.
I like our rules. I like knowing what is important to him and when he is decisive and immediate in enforcing them I know he takes this all seriously.
We spent much of the summer in what I called Dd light. Little privacy meant little ability to enforce our rules. Now that things are back to a more predictable schedule we have both agreed that things that were allowed to slide will not be anymore and that he expects a higher level of compliance. We both welcome this change.
Here’s the thing. Rather than feeling limiting, our rules, our structure give me freedom. I know many would not understand that but it is how I feel. We all have choices to make throughout our day and far too often it is the easy choice that gets made instead of the right choice.
When he makes rules I trust that he has my best interests at heart. He will not always get it right and neither will I but with love and sincere intention we will make progress. If I then disobey him and he provides consequences that builds my trust in him.
When he makes a decision he is taking the decision away from me by making it for me. For example, I don’t have to think about whether or not to exercise because he has already made that choice for me. If I make a different choice then I know he will deal with it. If he really imposes certain rules and behaviors he frees me up to not think about whether to do it or not. By following his will I am “free” to ignore the excuses in my own mind about exercise. Rather than being limiting, when done with care, and love and intention, this is incredibly liberating.
If I know that he means what he says then I am free to give in to his will and give him my submission. If I can trust his Dominance I can really explore my submission. His Dominance allows me to give that to him and grow in my submission.
Because we have this agreement I am “free” to be always open to him even when I am tired and might not otherwise want to. Many would scoff at the idea of never being “allowed” to say no. For me though it “allows” me to truly show him how important he is to me.
I can submit to things in and out of the bedroom that I might not have been willing to try before because I know he expects it. There is such freedom for me in that.
That is a really important point I think and one the two of us at least had not discussed very much until now. I feel freedom in my submission.
