His Mess Up

What do you do when your guy is…. well… a guy?

I am not trying to man bash here but there are times that things come out of his mouth that are just insensitive and hurtful and he didn’t even necessarily mean for it to be so. The next thing you know I am hurt and he is backpedaling and everything feels wrong.

The problem had to due with something that was very special and important to me and him not remembering it. It was something that I really feel like he should have remembered and when he didn’t I kind of lost it. I cried. I was so sad. He said he was sorry but it just felt lousy.

Today is a very important day for him. His company president and several other big shots are in town to tour a facility and make client calls. He has been working hard to get ready for the visit which causes more stress than usual so I am trying to be understanding. He has a lot going on right now and a lot on his mind so I know that that could not have helped. Add to that the fact that it was late when we were talking and the poor guy was probably doomed before we ever started talking. He even acknowledged last night that it was a very guy thing to do.

I get all that and I am mostly OK with it now.Β I know that he never meant to hurt me like he did. He wants to make it up to me but I really don’t know what to tell him to do. I told him last night that I did know that if I ever said anything to him to make him feel that badly I would deserve a major punishment.Β This morning before he left he apologized again which was nice. Maybe I will let him pamper me a bit and take me out to dinner.

It is not that I want to punish him but he did mess up. He knows it and I know it. Now I just have to move on. I somehow get the feeling that at least a stress relief spanking is going to be needed to help me move past this. Does that make any sense?

Yes it is time to move on.

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14 Comments

  1. Zoe, yes that does make sense to me. I completely understand where you’re coming from, my guy has been a guy too. It generally ends just the way it ended for you — him pampering me and trying to make up for it. It never undoes what happened, but it shows he cares. I have no great advice, really. I’d just say that know and be prepared for it to happen, because it does happen from time to time. I hope you’re feeling better now.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  05/23/2012

      I’m glad that doesn’t sound crazy and that it makes sense. He has been very attentive since which is sweet. Thanks, I am feeling better.

      Reply
  2. Oh Zoe, it’s so hard when they mess up, isn’t it? But, they’re just as human as we are. I’m glad he apologized and I think you should let him pamper you a bit to help make it up to you. A stress relief/reconnection spanking would probably help. At least I know that it would me. We had a similar situation not long ago where I ended up being spanked to help me move on from something he did/said/whatever. That doesn’t seem fair, but it really did help. It doesn’t always have to make sense, as long as it works, right? I hope you feel better about things soon! (((hugs)))

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  05/23/2012

      I think that it is almost harder now because we are so much closer than before so when there is a hurt it is felt even more strongly. I am feeling much better now though. You’re right, it doesn’t seem fair that I end up being spanked for it on one level but I do think it will help. At least I hope so.

      Reply
  3. Zoe, been there. Sadly. I don’t even have any advice because I think you are already doing what I would try to do. Mainly not make him feel bad, but let him know how disappointed you are. Not much help, I know…

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  05/23/2012

      Just reading your comment helps. And I think we have all been there at some point but we are better now. Thanks.

      Reply
  4. It’s always hard. I know that we’ve found when he messes up, by the time he’s finished with himself, he’s undergone way worse a punishment than I get with a spanking. I usually end up reassuring him in the end that it’s okay, we are okay, he’s forgiven–but it takes some time for him to get over it b/c he is disappointed in himself.

    Our tears take on new meaning in ttwd. They can be really meaningful for my M b/c it sends a message about how hurt I’m feeling.

    Like Grace, we too usually end situations like this with a reconnection spanking. It doesn’t make rational sense, but it works. Puts us to rights.

    If he’s of the mind, certainly do let him spoil you a little. It’ll help him work through this. Dinner sounds real nice! πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  05/23/2012

      I agree that the tears mean more now than they did before. And it was a pretty ugly cry so I know he got it.

      Rational sense or not I think it my put us to rights. And I am letting him spoil me. I might as well take advantage of it while I can right?

      Reply
  5. Tess

     /  05/23/2012

    Nobody’s perfect and it sounds like he’s pretty disappointed in himself over the fact that he hurt your feelings. Doing something special for you may allow him to feel like he’s making things right by you again, which is important…if he’s anything like my guy, when there’s a problem, he wants to fix it! And a reassurance spanking may allow you to feel like the whole issue has been put to bed, which could help you both to move on. If that’s what works for you, who cares if it makes sense;) Hope you find some resolution, either way!

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  05/23/2012

      Thanks Tess. He really does feel bad and is being more attentive than usual (at least till he went out of town.) It will be OK though. πŸ™‚

      Reply
  6. SNP

     /  05/23/2012

    Just to let you know I was here and here is a blog Hug. All great folks and good thoughts and comments from others. I am sure today is better. Keep your chin up. Regards,
    (sorry it happened)

    Reply
  7. faerie

     /  05/23/2012

    You could go shopping, lol. That cures everything right? Hope you feel better about the situation soon πŸ™‚

    Reply

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