Oh, You’re a Rule Follower

I live in a really nice neighborhood and we have an amazing tradition. Once a month for over ten years the ladies get together for dinner at someone’s house or at a restaurant. I was the one to host the gathering for October. Β The meal was lovely and the weather perfect. I love to cook and bake and have attained quite a reputation in the neighborhood for both. IΒ have also worked in a bakery in the past and sometimes make cakes and sell them to my friends and acquaintances. It is a very informal and very small operation.

That evening we were talking about the food and the desserts and one of my friends asked me about selling cakes. I explained that I do not have a commercial kitchen and that I would need to modify my home kitchen if I wanted to turn it into a real business.

“No”, she said. “You can do it at home.”

“No I can’t,” I explained. “Well I could but there would have to be changes in lighting, countertops etc. if I were Β to really do this in my home on a scale any larger than I do now. There are regulations on food preparation businesses.”

“Oh you’re a rule follower.”

I just laughed and said yes but inside I wanted to say – You have no idea! I mean I am in a Dd marriage!

I have to say her comment brought me up a little short and has made me think.

I am Fun

I am a rule follower.

I like their structure. I like their security. I like their stability.

Maybe that is one of the reasons that ttwd works so well for me. I like rules. Having a list of rules that Alex finds important gives me the structure I need and want. It gives me security and stability. It makes me feel safe. They establish a framework for how our household runs.

Beyond our home we have rules and laws, regulations and standards of behavior that help us live in a civilized society. Rules help us to do that.

It greatly bothers me when I see these standards eroding. When I see others who can’t or won’t follow the rules and it worries me that so many just don’t seem to care or notice these days.

I picked up my daughter from an activity last evening. She is driving now and in the time it took for me to switch from the divers seat to the passenger seat so she could drive I heard a group of young guys loudly throw the f bomb three times as they walked past. When did that become ok? When did it become ok to subject everyone around you to your crass language? When did we loose our sense of decorum?

Its not ok with me. I think we loose something when we loose manners and acceptable ways to behave in public. When guys walk around with their pants around their knees and girls walk around in public in their pajamas we all loose something. When we don’t have standards we loose something. We need them.

So yes. In answer to her question…

In both my personal and public life I am a rule follower and proud of it.

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19 Comments

  1. Isn’t it funny how a little comment like hers can get you to think about yourself in a different or more in depth way?
    I love rules too, just don’t get them as much as I would like.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  11/03/2013

      I hear you Julia. Sometimes I do wish I had more. (and sometimes not.) πŸ™‚

      Reply
  2. quiet sara

     /  10/29/2013

    Me too mostly! Though I did cross over a line today while driving, as I realized I was in a turn only lane! I once got a ticket for that very thing at that very spot too! This time I looked first! LOL

    Sara πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  11/03/2013

      That kind of stuff just happens sometimes to everybody I think. Those kinds of rules that are there to keep us safe are the easy ones to follow (or at least try to.)

      Reply
  3. Cue Ball

     /  10/29/2013

    I love when someone says something that is more true than they even know. The only thing better is when someone thinks they’re incognito and someone know. Like the woman in the Eternity Collar at dinner the other night…

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  11/03/2013

      Welcome Cue Ball! I think this is your first time commenting and I am so glad you did!

      It is funny when you can tell that someone is trying to be incognito. It’s like you are in on their joke. Her comment definitely got me thinking that’s for sure.

      Reply
  4. willie

     /  10/29/2013

    LOL. Zoe I have had the same conversation with friends about making my hobby a business too. NOT interested. Takes the fun out of it~having to follow the rules. But I too am a rule follower. I mean if I find merit in the rule, or if it is a law. Arbitrary rules, not so much πŸ˜‰

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  11/03/2013

      Yeah Willie I probably could have written about arbitrary or stupid rules. Not a fan of those either. And yes. I think taking this hobby and making it a real business would take much of the fun out of it.

      Reply
  5. Roz

     /  10/30/2013

    Hi Zoe, It is funny isn’t it how a little comment like that can get us thinking. I can just imagine how you felt when she said it. If she only knew eh LoL

    I’m a following too (mostly πŸ™‚ and I agree we loose something when acceptable standards of behaviour in public and basic manners slip.

    Hugs,
    roz

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  11/03/2013

      If she only knew is right!
      I worry about our society sometimes that is for sure. Manners matter!

      Reply
  6. Now that I think about it a bit, I am mostly a rule follower too–at least the ones I agree with. There are these moments when I go rogue and all independent…but alas, you know how that turns out for me…

    I too am concerned about some real basics in society, changes that I can’t simply see as cultural shifts, but movement towards something less healthy. I see the deep concern in friends who are removing their kids from larger society b/c they don’t like what they are being exposed to. I understand and at the same time it makes me worry to watch a great divide happening.

    LOL…I’m rambling.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  11/03/2013

      Ah rogue and independent… You? I can’t imagine! But you have MM to pull you back in. πŸ™‚

      And don’t you worry about rambling. I do some of my best thinking while rambling. Ask Alex.

      Reply
  7. Tess

     /  10/30/2013

    It think this is a sweet example of how this lifestyle just suits your personality and I think you’re right…that’s probably why it works so well for you guys. It provides exactly what you need to feel safe and secure and when you feel that way in your relationship all of life’s other obstacles are easier to handle:)

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  11/03/2013

      Thanks Tess! I love this comment. Feeling secure in our relationship does make everything else easier and his boundaries give me that security.

      Reply
  8. Hi Zoe, me too, me too. I think too many people moan about society falling apart. But no one does anything. why don’t people stand up and say this is wrong, you should see what my hubby gets in his taxi!!!! I think there should be a few more rules about, gosh I am an old bag today πŸ˜‰
    love Jan.xx

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  11/03/2013

      Oh Jan no you’re not. I can rant with the best of them so don’t you worry. I bet he has some crazy stories to tell from his taxi. I can only imagine.

      Reply
  9. It’s good to be a rule follower. Except when it isn’t! I personally am one too, and it is disturbing to me as well when I see people breaking the rules just because. Now, if it’s a rule or law like “You may not eat a doughnut while walking backwards on the sidewalk”, I really get the itch to try it, just to see what happens(plus I really love doughnuts!). After all, most rules and laws are made because at one point someone did that very thing and something bad/weird/crazy happened, right? I wonder…..

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  11/03/2013

      There are some really crazy laws out there aren’t there? Like you wondered, where they having a problem with backward walking doughnut eaters?

      I’m so glad you commented on my blog. I will get over and check yours out as well!

      Reply
  10. Zoe,

    Oh wow! I love the idea of the neighbour ladies getting together for dinner once a month. I would be coming with my breads and cakes πŸ˜‰

    Hmmm…Generally I follow the rules and certainly the rules in my own marriage but I don’t like to follow other people’s expectations and often times that seems to morph into rules…the whole you must live or do a certain way…

    Reply

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