Freedom

He just came in and pointed to the bedroom. I knew. I knew that I had broken his rules about his car and it was deserved. It was a quick, sharp reminder to follow the rules. He said if I do it again it will be double. I believe him.

So why do I find myself sitting here with a stingy behind and a smile on my face? It seems such contradiction but it’s true.

When I think about it though I know why.

I like our rules. I like knowing what is important to him and when he is decisive and immediate in enforcing them I know he takes this all seriously.

We spent much of the summer in what I called Dd light. Little privacy meant little ability to enforce our rules. Now that things are back to a more predictable schedule we have both agreed that things that were allowed to slide will not be anymore and that he expects a higher level of compliance. We both welcome this change.

Here’s the thing. Rather than feeling limiting, our rules, our structure give me freedom. I know many would not understand that but it is how I feel. We all have choices to make throughout our day and far too often it is the easy choice that gets made instead of the right choice.

When he makes rules I trust that he has my best interests at heart. He will not always get it right and neither will I but with love and sincere intention we will make progress. If I then disobey him and he provides consequences that builds my trust in him.

When he makes a decision he is taking the decision away from me by making it for me. For example, I don’t have to think about whether or not to exercise because he has already made that choice for me. If I make a different choice then I know he will deal with it. If he really imposes certain rules and behaviors he frees me up to not think about whether to do it or not. By following his will I am “free” to ignore the excuses in my own mind about exercise. Rather than being limiting, when done with care, and love and intention, this is incredibly liberating.

If I know that he means what he says then I am free to give in to his will and give him my submission. If I can trust his Dominance I can really explore my submission. His Dominance allows me to give that to him and grow in my submission.

Because we have this agreement I am “free”  to be always open to him even when I am tired and might not otherwise want to. Many would scoff at the idea of never being “allowed” to say no. For me though it “allows” me to truly show him how important he is to me.

I can submit to things in and out of the bedroom that I might not have been willing to try before because I know he expects it. There is such freedom for me in that.

That is a really important point I think and one the two of us at least had not discussed very much until now. I feel freedom in my submission.

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16 Comments

  1. I love this post ! Some day I hope to be in our own version of where you are. Thanks for sharing/explaining Zoe!

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  09/08/2013

      Thanks Willie. I’m glad you liked it. I really hope you get there too!

      Reply
  2. I love this post, I would love to be there
    love Jan.xx

    Reply
  3. Roz

     /  09/08/2013

    Hi Zoe, this is such a great post and well stated. I absolutely agree that there is freedom in submission. I too like knowing what is important to Rick and and the knowledge that he takes this way of life seriously when he enforces rules and expected behaviours. I totally get the sore bum and a smile LoL

    We are in a hiatus at the moment and I miss it.

    Hugs,
    Roz

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  09/08/2013

      I hope the two of you can get back on track really soon. I do feel a certain amount of freedom from living like this. I know that sounds crazy to some but it makes sense to me. Sore bum and smile and a great combination.

      Reply
  4. I really love that idea of freedom in submission. I’ve definitely felt that this lifestyle fulfills something within me…lets me be free to really be me by expressing that side of my self to him.

    You sound happy Zoe:)

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  09/08/2013

      Thanks Tess. I am pretty happy these days. It is kind of cool how we can feel free by surrendering control.

      Reply
  5. Coral

     /  09/09/2013

    I never considered the perspective of being freed by your own excuses in making a choice. to instead submit to the choice he’s made for you and know that he’s already made agood one. what a weight lifted. Thank you for sharing such a lovely story.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  09/09/2013

      Thanks so much Coral for saying so and for commenting! When I started thinking of it like that it really was a revelation for me. If I trust that his rules are good and for my benefit then ignoring my excuses for not following them becomes easier for me.

      Reply
  6. Over the summer my hubby took away a couple of rules and I was soooo happy Zoe. It was wonderful to be free of them and at the same time, the underlying expectations actually increased, if that makes sense. If I didn’t live up to what he now expected, those rules would come flying back.

    You are so right. The boundaries and expectations create good walls–walls of safety. They make us pay more attention to staying connected with each other. We don’t like the follow through when we fall down…not in the moment, but after it is all good.

    When I try not to think too hard about it, this stuff makes all the sense in the world. I too have never felt so free.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  09/10/2013

      They really do make us pay more attention and that to me is one of the biggest benefits and best things about Dd and ttwd. I need his attention and I know I have it when this lifestyle is working well.

      I’m glad you feel free too. It is a pretty great way to feel.

      Reply
  7. I couldn’t agree more, Zoe. Great post!

    Reply
  8. You feel in sync and you feel safe bc he stood strong and followed through. It’s a good feeling!

    Sara

    Reply

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