Just Chugging Along

bench

I have been pretty silent here lately. No real reason and then many reasons. Do you ever feel that way?

Sometimes I think that I should or could write about something and then I think it would be too boring or ordinary and not worth talking about. I don’t have any real progress or struggles to report that I haven’t written about before so I don’t feel like I have much to post.

What I will tell you is that I blame my kids.

Between lessons and performances and plays and recitals, school and moving kids home from college with all the laundry and organizing that entails things have just been extra crazy around here lately.

Yes that’s right. They seem to be everywhere all the time. We can’t seem to get rid of all of them all at the same time and it is driving the two of us just a little crazy. Now don’t get me wrong. I love having all my babies home again but there is zero privacy around here right now.

Here’s the thing. I know that I have been feistier and more dismissive of him than either of us likes and I know he would have taken me OTK last night if he could have and not for a fun playful spanking.

While I hate to make him feel like he has to or wants to do that I have to say I love that he is making his expectations clear. I was too dismissive of him yesterday. Far too many times I brushed past to finish whatever mission I was on at the time and didn’t do what he asked first.

Finally he had had enough and he told me so.

Who is supposed to be your priority?

You are.

Why are you brushing me aside all night?

I don’t know and I recognize that I am doing it. I am sorry.

You are really driving me crazy tonight and if I could you would be getting a correction right now.

Really? I know and I am sorry.

When we do finally get some alone time I know it will be serious. Does it make sense that while I am not looking forward to that but at the same time I am. I am sorry that I disappointed him but I am happy that he notices.

I am trying. Many people including me talk about needing a spanking or two (or three) to reconnect us and get us to that happy submissive place when there is travel and separation and the like. We have all of those things and no chance to spank and reconnect so I have to try extra hard to not let my “I’ve got this” side push her way to the surface too prominently. Argh.

We are both trying. Just him calling me out last night helped some I think. I know he is watching and noticing and that helps. I hope today is better. He is home all day. No need for me to handle it all.

I wondered recently if he was capable of really doing Dd and stepping up and leading like I want him and need him to. It is a familiar worry for many of us. We are better than we were. What I am trying to do is to be more accepting of where we are and what we are both capable of giving.

So that’s us. Just chugging along from day to day. Not much to report and then a lot I guess. Do you ever feel that way?

Leave a comment

19 Comments

  1. Tess

     /  05/30/2013

    I absolutely feel like that sometimes…like we are just living life and doing this thing we do and everything’s copacetic, so how interesting can that really be to write about/read about yet again? I never get tired of feeling that stability however, and personally, I think it’s nice to read about too:) I can also totally relate to that crazy summer hectic chaos! I’m glad that he was able to reassure with his words that he’s paying attention and I hope that you get a chance to reconnect really soon.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  06/01/2013

      Thanks Tess. It all just seems so ordinary sometimes but at least that means no crisis so I’ll take it. No reconnects yet. A few almosts but they were false alarms. I think we may have to get really creative here. Soon I hope.

      Reply
  2. Kat

     /  05/30/2013

    Chaos breeds things we don’t want. I hope things get better for you!

    Reply
  3. lil misses

     /  05/30/2013

    I think you should tell the kids that on such and such a day, for how much ever time you need, they need to vacate the premises. They will think you too are going to have intimate relations, and you certainly could. But at least you’d have the alone time you need. They don’t have to know any more than that. Lol.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  06/01/2013

      That is probably what we are going to have to do. It’s a good idea. That or maybe we will get a hotel room. That sounds pretty good too.

      Reply
  4. Kristy

     /  05/30/2013

    Oh, we are so going through the same thing with the kids! It’s so hard! We just had a conversation with them about when it’s ok to interrupt us and when it’s not. I love summer and I don’t want to wish it away, but why does it have to be so hard?!

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  06/03/2013

      This no privacy thing really is getting old but oh well. I am so happy to have them home but maybe we could do with a bit less togetherness.

      Reply
  5. Oh yes, in fact I’ve felt that way a lot recently. And I can definitely identify with the lack of privacy aspect as well. Our oldest is staying up much later these days and her room is way too close to ours. Perhaps with the hot weather upon us and the window air conditioners running in the bedroom windows at night, that will help? I don’t know, but I do know that for whatever reason, it gets hard to be in that submissive place without the connection that spanking seems to bring. I hope you get some time to reconnect soon!

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  06/03/2013

      I do need that connection to help me stay in that submissive place but I am trying without it because we really don’t have much choice right now.
      You’re right. There is no real bedtime for any of them anymore now that they are older. Hope the air conditioners work for you. 🙂

      Reply
  6. mybeahind

     /  05/31/2013

    I know exactly what you mean. Your heart is full but the words won’t come. For me, anyway.
    Bea

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  06/03/2013

      With no spanking I just don’t have much to say a lot of the time but like I said, maybe it the ordinary times we need to record so we don’t forget later.

      Reply
  7. Roz

     /  05/31/2013

    Hi Zoe,

    Oh yes, I feel the same way often. We are just living life and there is not much to say, but that in itself is good to read about too as Tess said. Kind of like checking in I suppose, we all like to know how each other are doing.

    It does make sense to me that you are both looking forward to a spanking, but at the same time not. I also get what you say about being glad he is noticing things. I think it makes us feel as though this important … that we are important.

    I hope you get the chance to reconnect with each other soon.

    Hugs,
    Roz

    BTW: I love the new background 🙂

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  06/03/2013

      It really does help when he notices and tells me. It makes me feel like he is still doing this with me even if we are not spanking. Like you said it makes me feel important. Thanks Roz!

      Reply
  8. Hi Zoe. Nice to see you posting 🙂 I definitely feel that way sometimes too, it’s why my blog posting was pretty sparse earlier this year. A lot going on and not much to say but also a lot to say. If that makes sense! I totally understand wanting to get that correction, too. While it’s not fun, it’ll help both of you feel better once it’s over and connect. I do hope you get some time to yourselves soon.

    I love the new background, too! Just in time for summer.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  06/03/2013

      No reconnect yet Riley and as far as I can tell no time soon but I am trying to accept it. I don’t want to write about the same stuff all the time so I sometimes find myself with little to say. I don’t want to loose touch with everyone though.
      Glad you like the background. 🙂

      Reply
  9. Yup! It is exactly what life seems like right now. We are busy but unlike other busy times, we are doing better at not neglecting ttwd. It doesn’t feel like I have anyone to write about.

    I sure hope that you get some empty house moments every few days so that you can get some time together.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  06/03/2013

      If we could get some empty house moments every few days I would be in heaven. I don’t think that is going to happen much but oh well. Like I said at least he lets me know he is watching.

      Reply
  10. Betsy Ann

     /  06/08/2013

    Hi Zoe! Coming from someone with college age and small kids at home, the older kids make all this a lot more difficult than the little ones. We are in the same boat over here….just doing the best we can.

    Wishing you and your husband many hours of unexpected alone time;)

    Reply

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