And Now the Answers – Finally

Hi all. March is over and ideally we would have answered these already but it was a pretty heavy travel month for Alex and so the answers to our questions are coming in April. Sorry for the delay.

Thanks to everyone who asked a question they were fun to talk about and answer. It is finally beautiful weather here and I hope it is the same where you are. Happy weekend!


Hmmm, well, okay, you asked for it! lol What’s been the biggest positive change you’ve seen in yourself and/or in your relationship since incorporating ttwd? What’s been the biggest challenge?

There are many but I love, love, love that I can’t wait for him to come through the door. I miss him so much now and am so excited when he comes home from work or from a trip. I went a long time basically feeling the opposite, being happy he was gone. Dd has given me my husband back and that really is the best!

I agree. I am happy to come home now which is so much better.

My biggest challenge is not letting my expectations get ahead of me. Because he travels quite a bit we often have to fit maintenance in whenever we can and so sometimes I have been disappointed if  he didn’t spank and I thought he would. That also leads to a feeling of urgency sometimes like we have to make it count which makes it seem forced sometimes. I am working on trusting him more when he doesn’t do maintenance because I know he thinks about it too. 

paddled husband

Hmm so many questions I could ask. Ok,how about this? What was the biggest problem you encountered as you started your DD lifestyle together, and how did you overcome it?

It was hard for him to know how long and hard to spank me in the beginning. It took some patience and practice from both of us to get past those first growing pains. We had to learn each other.

It is vital to have a partner that looks out for you like Alex did and does for me. I couldn’t do this if I didn’t trust that he was actively evaluating and looking out for my interests.

Finding the right implements. We broke too many spoons. 🙂


Hey Zoe…Hope you’re still feeling well. Here’s my question: Do you think that if you had known about it when you were first married, you could have successfully incorporated DD into your marriage? Would love to hear how you and Alex each answer this one or maybe a joint answer?

This is an easy one for me. I have thought about it before and the answer is no way. We were different people then. I was not ready yet to admit even to myself how interested I was in spanking and know I would have rejected the idea of the man being the head of household.

This takes trust on a very deep level and at least for us I think it almost required us to have come from the low place we were so we could really appreciate how close we came to loosing it and how much there is to fight for. We know what is at stake now and battle that much harder to keep what we have and Dd is our tool to do that.

No. It takes a long time to know and appreciate each other. We weren’t mature enough.


What is the one area of your lives that has had the biggest noticeable change since beginning dd?
(for both of you)

Open communication. More sex and sexual experimentation.

Yes. We talk both more and have higher quality conversations which are more effective. That is so much better than before and such a change. And he’s right. It has really spiced up our love life which is fun. 


Hi Zoe
What’s the one thing you still struggle with as a DD wife and how do you deal with it?

Letting go and truly letting him steer. When

It’s a journey and we are constantly learning and adjusting.

Mischief asked,

If you and Alex were animals what would you be and why?

Again, very easy for me. I would want to be a well loved house cat. My cat has the best life. He does what he want when he wants and we humans are essentially at his beck and call. He gets to sleep when, for how long and however he wants. Really what could be better.

sleepong cat

When I asked Alex this was the first answer he came up with. It made me laugh so we stuck with it.

Honey Badger because a Honey Badger “takes what he wants.”

Honey badgers were the inspiration for the kil...


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  1. Roz

     /  04/07/2013

    Wonderful post Zoe, thanks for sharing. Great answers from both of you, I especially like your answers to Grace and Cat 🙂


  2. Hi Zoe, nice answers, we broke a hairbrush, ( it’s now a wooden paddle:( ), I loved the cat, we have a tabby version. He rules my world, just don’t tell hubby.
    Love jan.xx

  3. lillie

     /  04/07/2013

    When I asked my own husband that question, he mentioned the improved sexy stuff, too.

  4. Ha! A honey badger…I love it.
    Nothing so terrible about improved sexy stuff either. 😉

  5. Great answers! Thanks for tackling the questions! 🙂


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