Good Weekend

Hi all. Thanks for all the nice wishes from my last post. Happily I am finally feeling better and (fingers crossed) will stop this cycle of one illness after another. This means that this past week was a little more normal around here than it has been.

Alex traveled most of the week and when he came home he was ready to reassert himself and his HoH status in some very fun and creative ways. There was some spanking but that didn’t come until Saturday. Before that he found quite a few fun ways to let me know just who’s boss around here. He pushed some limits and asserted his dominance and I have to say I loved the whole thing.

By the time we actually got to our reconnection we were both kind of anxious for it but in a good way. We were feeling very close but were both acutely aware that we hadn’t spanked in a little while.

I am a little crazy and had purchased a new paddle that he was happy to test it out. It is a small olive wood cheese board just slightly larger than a hairbrush. It is dense and as we both discovered it is very effective. I am definitely crazy. I know it will make many more appearances.

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It had been awhile since he had spanked me to tears and he somehow knew it was needed. I needed that release. He warmed me up a little with his hand and then mostly used the new paddle with some corner time breaks in between. I did pretty well staying in place and he helped by putting  his hand on my back and then moving me off the bed and over his leg to make sure I stayed still. I really like it when he does this. It helps to feel his closeness. When he was done he held me and we snuggled together.

I sometimes wrestle with myself over this need because that is the only thing I can call it. I do love when he knows and takes me where I need to be without me having to ask.

We have many ways to stay close but somehow there is a special kind of closeness that we only get from spanking. Maybe that is not exactly it. Maybe it is that we have an additional way to flex our relationship muscles and we don’t feel truly close anymore unless we are using all our tools. Whether for punishment or maintenance it takes an extraordinary amount of trust from both of us to live this lifestyle and we reaffirm this trust and commitment each time. I’m happier and he’s happier when we trust on this level.

I know that is incredibly hard for those outside this life to understand. Heck sometimes I don’t understand it myself. What I do understand is that it works for us. I guess it’s not so important to understand the why’s.

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30 Comments

  1. Sounds like a most sweet and lovely reconnect, Zoe. I often wonder why I need what I need as well. I guess it doesn’t really matter, just matters that we do and have been blessed with partners that understand.

    I’m glad you all are feeling better.
    (((hugs)))

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  03/12/2013

      It was sweet and lovely and it is wonderful to be blessed with these understanding guys.

      Reply
  2. Sara

     /  03/11/2013

    I’m so glad you’re staring to feel better Zoe!

    Sara

    Reply
  3. Cat

     /  03/11/2013

    So happy to hear that you are feeling better Zoe and that you and Alex have reconnected beautifully. You are so right…as long as it works, who cares about the why’s! 😉

    Blessings,
    Cat

    Reply
  4. Zoe, I’m so glad you’re feeling better. Your comment about “fun and creative ways” made me giggle 😉 It sounds like it was a really great connection for you two. Oh, and I’m constantly trying to figure out why. If you do figure it out, please do pass it along!!

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  03/12/2013

      Glad you giggled. We did have fun. And I’m not sure I will ever figure it out.

      Reply
  5. Sunny Girl

     /  03/11/2013

    Great reconnection and you’re right it doesn’t matter why just that it does. Glad you are better.

    Reply
  6. I gave up trying to understand it years ago. Now I just enjoy it…if enjoy is the rught word lol. Good blog.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  03/12/2013

      I know right what you mean about enjoying it. So glad you stopped by and commented. Glad you like my blog.

      Reply
  7. mybeahind

     /  03/12/2013

    This is beautiful, very moving.
    Thanks,
    Bea

    Reply
  8. Hi Zoe, I am so glad you are better, I am in bed reading with my hubby and I was just telling him that you were my first inspiration into the lifestyle and having read him this post, I think he understands why. Glad all is well in your house, am off to snuggle with my man, love Jan.xx

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  03/12/2013

      That is so nice Jan. It is so gratifying to think I might have helped you. It means a lot.

      Reply
  9. Roz

     /  03/12/2013

    Hi Zoe, I’m so glad to hear that you are starting to feel better. It sounds like you had a wonderful reconnection and are in a really good place. Happy for you!

    Hugs,
    Roz

    Reply
  10. Nope…the why isn’t real important…LOL Zoe, except for in those moments when I’m sure I must know why!

    I’m so glad you are starting to feel better physically.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  03/12/2013

      I know Susie. Sometimes I really do try to figure it out. I think I am doomed to fail though. I think I just need to accept that it is just the way it is. It is good to feel better that’s for sure.

      Reply
  11. So glad you are feeling better Zoe. We are very lucky they understand what we need, sometimes it seems they understand it way more then us. If it works that’s all that matters.

    Reply
  12. Very happy to hear you finally feel better Zoe!

    Reply
  13. Dee

     /  03/12/2013

    Glad you’ve had some reconnection time. And yes, you ARE crazy lol

    Dee x

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  03/12/2013

      Oh yes! Crazy is the right word. I don’t know why I do this to myself. Oh that’s right… I can’t help myself.

      Reply
  14. lillie

     /  03/12/2013

    I have also wondered why I need this “thing,” Zoe. I think you hit (sorry) on the answer when you talked about the level of intimacy that you experience. Nothing else even comes close, and to my utter horror – it is punishment spankings that bring me closer to Ian than my much beloved erotic interludes. Mother Nature sure has a wicked sense of humour.
    hugs
    lillie

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  03/13/2013

      I agree completely. For us at least I think that punishment really demonstrates our commitment to all of this. If he follows through and punishes he is showing me how seriously he takes our agreement. It’s not easy but it works for us.

      Reply
  15. zoe, this was so sweet and tender. loved it. thank you.

    maryanne.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  03/18/2013

      Maryanne welcome! I am so glad you stopped by and commented. I just went and checked out your new blog and you are off to a great start.

      I’m glad you liked this piece. Like I said, I don’t know why it works but I sure am happy it does.

      Reply

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