Best Laid Plans

Plans. They can get us every time.

Cat plan

My last post dealt with how life can and has gotten in the way of our doing Dd in what felt like a natural way.

Wednesday we did get to do maintenance and it was good. It had been awhile and there were a few issues to “discuss” so it was a little more like paintenance than maintenance. Like many I like leather way more than wood and he only used wood. Not as long and hard as real punishment but definitely attention getting.

We were both really looking forward to Friday. Our daughter was leaving for an overnight school trip which meant that we would have a whole day and night of together time. I don’t know what he was planning but I do know he was planning. I love it when he plans.

Enter winter. Enter life.

We live in the South. One thing you must know about the South is that ANY frozen precipitation leaves everyone here paralyzed. The stores fill up with people buying food, TV stations do live feeds from home improvement stores selling de-icer and snow shovels and schools cancel before a drop of snow or ice falls from the sky. This is all for a storm that will be in and out of the area in about 12 hours.

Granted the precipitation was ice and that is scary but you won’t run out of milk and bread in a 12 hour storm when the temps the next day will be in the 50s. It makes me laugh. But I digress.

The trip got canceled. I’m not sure who was more disappointed. My daughter or me. Not only did it mean she missed a trip she was really looking forward to but possibly more important to her it meant that she had homework to do and quizzes to take that she thought she was free of. Pretty comical actually. And of course so much for our plans.

I called Alex and told him. He just sighed heavily and that said it all for both of us. No playtime. No maintenance. No plans.

Now I really try to live by a philosophy of “it is what it is.” Things happen and you can’t really change that so you have to live within the parameters you are given at the time. Winter happens and things get canceled because of that. Getting all stressed out about that doesn’t really help anyone. That’s the theory anyway.

Even though I try it doesn’t always work that way.

I was grumpier than I should have been with both Alex and our daughter. He knew I was disappointed so he gave me some slack but I eventually pushed too many buttons. I actually questioned how he would handle a behavior that we were reading about on another blog and (I can’t really believe I did this) I said I didn’t think he would handle it. Well the next thing I knew I was in the bedroom, in the corner half dressed, and lectured about follow through and expectations, how he knew I was disappointed but I couldn’t take it out on him, etc. She was right up stairs so spanking wasn’t an option but he got his point across.

The thing is I was calmer after that. We snuggled and I apologized and he forgave me.

Why do I do that? His night wasΒ ruined too but he wasn’t acting like a brat. I fully admit that I try to not let things I can’t change bother me and yet… oh well.

Anyway we got through the night and I was better yesterday. We had no plans for any connection time so of course what happened? Our daughter spent most of the afternoon and evening with a friend so we ended up with several hours alone sans daughter. We got to do maintenance. We got some playtime and we watched a movie together. It was really nice.

So what is my take away?

Plan a-z

Go back to my original philosophy. Work within the parameters I am given and try not to get too stressed if plans change because they can just as easily change in my favor as against me.

Be patient.

Oh and don’t second guess Alex’s resolve unless I want to find myself on the receiving end of a punishment with my nose in a corner. (I really need to remember that one.) πŸ™‚

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22 Comments

  1. I am so glad to hear you got what you needed after all, and I agree, I always try to see plans changing as an opportunity for other things, but sometimes that is just too hard. I get bratty, annoying, and depressive, I can’t even stand myself sometimes.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  01/29/2013

      I bet you’re not that bad. But I guess I can’t stand myself either sometimes. As long as were working on it that’s something. πŸ™‚

      Reply
  2. Ahhhh, I love your sign. I, too, must remember that there are more letters in the alphabet. But dang, it is most frustrating! Glad you got over the bump πŸ™‚

    Reply
  3. Lol, we live in the south also (technically) and make the same joke. Some flurries? Agghhh hurry to the store! They’ll be sold out of everything in no time. Crazy πŸ™‚ Sorry about your cancelled trip.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  01/29/2013

      It really is quite insane here sometimes. It’s like a snowflake freezes everyone’s brains and all common sense goes out the window. Crazy.

      Reply
  4. Willie

     /  01/27/2013

    Hi Zoe

    I’m happy in the end that things worked out for you . Sorry about your daughter’s trip. We had a snow day a while back and I was conflicted by my emotions with wanting to spend time with B and disappointment because the kids were around. I get it.

    If you figure out a way to remember not to get stressed when things don’t go as planned with ttwd let me know. Actually I am getting better..sort of . More like I don’t expect anything, and if it happens that’s great. Alright I didn’t say it was a ‘great’ plan !
    Willie

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  01/29/2013

      Thanks Willie! Great plan or not, if it works it works. πŸ™‚

      Reply
  5. Oh yes, that would have worked for me, and H has done something similar to snap me out of a mood that I’m taking out on him. Honestly, it’s like they become a target for us. But helping us tap into our submissive side, even when they can’t spank- that’s HOH talent, if you ask me!
    Glad you were able to have some “us” time.
    Funny about how people go nuts b4 a storm. Happens here too. πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  01/29/2013

      He does have some HoH talent. It’s still so strange and unexpected when that kind of thing help. I just know they do. Thanks Elysia.

      Reply
  6. SNP

     /  01/27/2013

    Ahh, glad you got some alone time for a few hours, Zoe. Good sign and reminder you have up there. I get set in my ways sometimes with plans and well then Life happens.
    Have a good week.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  01/29/2013

      So far so good this week SNP. Yesterday was a good day. Yep. Got to remember plans B-Z sometimes.

      Reply
  7. Aah how frustrating. I would have had a hard time as well. Why do you do that and he doesn’t? I don’t know but maybe it’s a guy thing. Cael and I have had wrinkles in our plans before and he handles it fine and I’m the one left reeling. Don’t know. Maybe we build it up in our heads? Either way, I’m glad that you did at laest get in a few hours. ((((hugs)))) Hoping that you can get even more time in soon!

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  01/29/2013

      I think you are right. Building it up in our heads is a real problem sometimes. Having a few hours was good and yesterday we got a few more so hopefully we are on a bit of a roll now. That’s the hope any way.

      Reply
  8. Roz

     /  01/28/2013

    Hi Zoe, I’m so glad you got that along time and connection.

    I love your philosophy and so need to remember this as I tend to let frustration take over when plan A doesn’t pan out, although I am getting better and trying to take it in my stride.

    Hugs
    Roz

    Reply
  9. Bah Zoe…sorry about that blasted corner…as effective as it was. Makes me think about something I’m trying to write today.

    I’m so glad that after all the kerfuffle you got your “playtime” in. I wish I had some sort of suggestion for how to not let frustration get to us, but it’s like it seeks me out and finds me. LOL.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  01/29/2013

      Hey at least he was creative and it really showed me his commitment which was probably why it worked. We ask them to take control so we shouldn’t be surprised when they do.

      BTW I love the word kerfuffle. That made me smile.

      Reply
  10. A classic lesson in letting go of control and our ideas of what things should be. These classic lessons usually suck-so I’m glad it all worked it’s way through!

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  01/29/2013

      It did work out in the end which was the point. Not how I originally envisioned but it all worked out.

      Reply
  11. Tess

     /  01/29/2013

    Sometimes it’s so hard to get over that initial disappointment when plans don’t go the way we want them to. Glad everything worked out in the end though!

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  01/29/2013

      Thanks Tess. Me too. Just have to remember that plan B may be just as good as plan A in the end. Hard sometimes but true.

      Reply

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