Top Spot

As we have gotten into this dynamic we have seen changes big and small. Our kids notice. Some they like and apparently some they don’t.

Certain patterns and rituals develop that are known and comfortable. Where we sit at the table is one of those things. We each have a spot.

table

As parents we each sit at an end of the table with the kids along the sides in their chosen seats. He essentially sits at the head and I at the foot of the table but as kids moved out to school I stayed in my spot and he moved up closer to our daughter. This then put me at the head of the table.

It stayed like this even after there were only three of us at the table most times but in the fall I started to feel weird about that so I moved over. I started sitting on the side and Alex sat at the head. It felt right to me and it felt right to him.

What’s funny is it did not feel right to our daughter.

It kind of freaked her out. She very begrudgingly has accepted it but only just.

Last night we had dinner with our oldest. Just us three and I sat in my new “spot.” Much to my amusement she didn’t like it either. Apparently dad should not sit in my spot and it somehow rocks their world when we mix it up.

I don’t care. I like my guy at the head of the table and the head of the house.

It is a sign of respect that he sit at the head of the table. He didn’t ask me to move. I did it for him and now it is our new natural. The kids will catch up.

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17 Comments

  1. That’s funny. You’re right, the kids will catch up. I hope you have a great weekend Zoe! πŸ™‚

    Reply
  2. That’s funny, Zoe. Our boys are 7 & 10 and when Daddy first came with us the table arrangements were a huge thing for them as well…must be a kid hierarchy thing, lol.

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  01/12/2013

      Hierarchy is exactly the right word and it definitely does matter to them. Apparently more than I realized.

      Reply
  3. Thats funny! It took us a while to find the right spots at the table, but we got it now!

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  01/12/2013

      Good for you. Just don’t move it around or they won’t know what to think. πŸ™‚

      Reply
  4. SNP

     /  01/11/2013

    Interesting subject. I’m with you on this. Wishing you both a great weekend~

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  01/12/2013

      Thanks so much SNP. Interesting is right. Hope your weekend is great too.

      Reply
  5. Willie

     /  01/11/2013

    After one of our ‘cook together nights’ I began to sit beside Barney, ( even though we still have a full table). The other end chair stays empty, although one son sat there for a day. I chose to move because he said he liked it when I sat closer to him.

    Happy that you have it figure out!

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  01/12/2013

      Sounds like you have it figured out too. This kind of stuff is important to them and is more than just symbolic.

      Reply
  6. Roz

     /  01/12/2013

    For some reason this made me giggle, but I agree, it is an interesting subject, and I’m also with you.

    Hope you have a great weekend.

    Hugs
    Roz

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  01/12/2013

      It made me giggle Roz that’s for sure. Their reactions were so similar it was funny. Happy weekend!

      Reply
  7. faerie

     /  01/12/2013

    Interesting that it was daughters that have a problem with the new seating arrangement. I wonder if a son would?

    Reply
  8. That’s a really interesting reaction, Zoe. I’m surprised she read that much into it, but perhaps given the other changes they’ve seen, she knows something’s up. Has she explicitly asked why you changed spots or was it that you could just “tell”? I always wonder about the stuff Cael and I do and what may or may not be noticed by others, so I guess that’s why I ask!

    Reply
    • Zoe

       /  01/14/2013

      Oh she told us she noticed but I think mostly it was because she likes things to stay “normal.” We try not to make a lot of our power changes obvious so they don’t ask too many questions. What I do think they see is how much better we get along and how much more harmony we have in our home.

      Reply
  9. Kids are funny and yeah, they’ll catch up.

    Reply

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