We only had two people ask us questions but they were really good and made us think. I don’t think this was his favorite thing to do so I’m not sure there will be a repeat so thanks to Alex for doing this. His answers are first in regular type and mine are in italics.

The first three questions are from Elysia

What is your favorite part of Dd?

We were very disconnected before Dd and were both guilty of speaking to each other with disrespect and tone. We both work hard now to not do that. If we don’t have respect everything else falls away and I love how much that has changed. It has been  important for both of  us to make changes and this lifestyle has helped us do that.

My favorite part is how much more available to each other we are and how much more communication there is. We really were coming from a place of little or no communication and that change has been extraordinary to me. 

What change has been the hardest for you personally? As a couple?

Giving her our first real punishment spanking was the hardest part for me because if done right both of us had to go to places that we had never been before. Learning what her limits are and how to handle that has been hard.

Personally – being conscious of the house all the time. He likes things very clean and organized and that is not usually so important to me. I pay so much more attention to things now but it definitely takes effort on my part. On my own I let things build up and then clean a lot all at once. Now I really try to keep on top of the jobs. There are times that I really don’t feel like doing those dishes or whatever but living in a clean, organized space makes him happy and secure so I have actively worked to change my focus. That is hard sometimes.

As a couple I would say that the hardest part is keeping up the intensity all the time. This is a 24/7 lifestyle and not letting down from that is hard. If we want to see the results it takes work on both our parts all the time.
Do you think that is is harder or more easy than you expected?

Harder. The hardest part to me has been fully embracing my role and the responsibilities of that role.

Acting in a submissive manner is hard and something I have to decide to do everyday. But the benefits are so tangible that is many ways it is easier than I expected. 

And from Susie

What has been your biggest surprise in Dd?

How much Zoe has embraced this lifestyle and how quickly it has rejuvenated our relationship both in our communication and sexually as well.

For me the biggest surprise has been how easily I have embraced my submissive role in this new dynamic and how much I want to please him.

For Alex–What have you noticed in Zoe since you began Dd that has stood out to you or brought you joy…or made you proud?

The most significant change I have seen is her self confidence. She has always been confident but seeing her relinquish control to me in Dd has made her a stronger woman and person and I love that side of her.

She has taken control of her weight loss and that has been good to see and makes me proud.

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  1. Thank you Alex and Zoe!

    Zoe–I like what you said about submission being a daily decision. I see so many women who say they ‘want’ to be but you are so right, we wake up each morning and decide who we will be that day. Elysia wrote a great post on this theme not too long ago and it’s something that always stands out to me in fellow women who are taking ttwd seriously.

    Alex–Your pride in Zoe is obvious in your comments. My husband also realized how hard it was to embrace this fully and not let down. It’s hard work. The fact is that when he did this, I also took him seriously and it had the same effect that you’ve seen. I became more confident and more submissive at the same time. I could trust him b/c I knew he wasn’t going to shelve me or our new commitment to each other. Good for you…and thanks for being willing to take questions.

  2. Zoe

     /  04/03/2012

    Thanks so much Susie both for the questions and the nice comment. It is because of other women like you who do take their lifestyle seriously that I was able to see how it could benefit us. Thankfully I was right.

    I’m glad he decided to take questions. I do think I am more confident than before we started but it is nice to know he notices.

  3. Thanks to both you and Alex for entertaining questions and providing answers. I’m so behind on blog posts lately due to things going on in my life, so I missed some of the posts here and there asking for questions. I did enjoy reading your answers though. 🙂

    • Zoe

       /  04/03/2012

      No problem Grace. You are welcome to ask questions anytime really. I never mind. I’ll even see if I can get Alex back on board but I can’t guarantee that. 🙂


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