Who Knew?

Six months ago I had never heard of Dd. I had no idea that there was a community of people who lived with a dominant/submissive dynamic in their marriages. I had no idea that being submissive in my own marriage would bring us both so much closer.

Six months later I find that it has changed us both in some very unexpected ways.

He has a very long day today. He got on a plane this morning before 6am and because our daughter has a theatre program tomorrow he flies in tonight about 11pm. It is so nice that he has arranged his travel to be here and means so much to her and to me.

I drove him to the airport before 5 and will pick him up later. Before Dd I would not have done this. He would have driven and parked but dropping him off saves him time and the hassle of that. It is not that I would have refused if he would have asked, I don’t think he would have asked and I would not have offered.

He did not require me to do this for him, nor do I think he would. What has changed is our empathy for each other; the willingness to make personal sacrifices to make the other’s life better and easier.

Dd has enhanced our lives in so many unexpected ways already and this is one. Who knew that giving him the lead would lead me to a place where making his life easier was such a priority? Certainly not me. I had no idea that by considering what he will think about my actions and behavior I would so fully change how much I care about him. I had no idea that by submitting to him I would find a power in our relationship that I don’t think either of us knew was there.

Who knew?

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  1. Yep. They infiltrate our thoughts in such a good way and we want to do all these things for them. The beautiful part is that they do the same for us. LOL, sometimes my husband and I literally stumble over each other trying to put the other first. Not always, but often enough that we get a good laugh out of it.

  2. Zoe

     /  03/07/2012

    Hi Susie, you’re right. He does do lots of things for me. And how nice that you stumble over each other.

  3. Hi Zoe, welcome to blogland! Isn’t it amazing what DD can do? Had I never stumbled across it online, I never would have thought of this sort of lifestyle either. I also think it’s neat how quickly your dynamic changes once you start…it’s like instant growth! I’m glad it’s working well for you 🙂

  4. Zoe

     /  03/08/2012

    Hi Riley, thanks for commenting and for the welcome. It really has been like instant growth for us. That’s a great way to say it.

  5. DD has had such a positive impact on our relationship too. Even though we’re struggling with some things right now, we’re still working together, trying to sort things out. Before it would’ve been me against him. This is so much better!

    • Zoe

       /  03/08/2012

      It is better isn’t it! I think it gives us a framework in which to sort things out and helps us to stay close when we otherwise would have moved away from each other.
      Good luck with everything.

  6. Thanks Zoe! 🙂

  7. Stormy

     /  03/08/2012

    So glad to “meet” you! You are so right, we have experienced this is many ways too. My whole thought process is different. I want to simply help make his life better, and he does the same for me.

    • Zoe

       /  03/08/2012

      That really has been completely unexpected but such a welcome part of this new life. I’m so glad you stopped by!

  8. The mutual giving is my favorite part. It used to be that we each would struggle “to get” from the other. Marriage is easier with the kinds of attitude changes that Dd brings.
    I’m so glad that you and your husband are having such a positive experience! 🙂


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