Missing Him

Alex has had a job that requires travel for our entire marriage. Most weeks he is gone 2-3 nights. Sometimes less, sometimes more. This is one of those more weeks.

Because of this I have always been very good at taking care of things. I have always said that when he is away I just get on with whatever needs to be done and makes sure it happens. There is a certain flow to the house when I am the only one at home and I always sort of liked it. Add to that the years when we didn’t really care too much for each other and I think we both kind of liked the breaks.

I spent way too much time being happy he was traveling.

Last night on the phone I told him how much I missed him. Missing him feels bad. I want him here and he isn’t. No fun.

But at the same time I suddenly felt happy too for the same reason…because I missed him. I spent far too long being happy he was gone and not really feeling that feeling of longing. As much as it hurts to miss him now it is a good hurt and much better than the loneliness of before.

I will pick him up at the airport on Friday and we will reconnect and I can hardly wait until then. What a great feeling.

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  1. Hi Zoe,

    Welcome to blogging! How wonderful that you now miss him when he is away instead of being relived. It’s a good kind of hurt, in the same way that spanking provides a good kind of pain.

    I love your passion flower!


  2. Zoe

     /  03/03/2012

    Thanks for commenting Hermione. Its my 1st one! You’re right, it is a good kind of pain. And I’m glad you like the flower. It’s my favorite.

  3. Zoe, I just read through your posts and can relate to a lot of what you’ve written. I certainly relate to you missing your husband since Michael is also gone a lot for work. I hope the two of you are enjoying a wonderful weekend together. 🙂

  4. Zoe

     /  03/03/2012

    Thanks Grace. It has been very nice so far.

  5. Glad he is home!

  6. Hi Zoe, welcome to the community. I like your blog and I especially like this particular one. I appreciate how your love and affection have grown recently. You CAN start over, can’t you?

    I’m looking forward to reading more.

  7. Stormy

     /  03/08/2012

    Oh my gosh, so true. My husband travels too..and there were times I was just grateful for the break from him. These days I miss him dreadfully and feel incomplete. Since we began this lifestyle he has become my best friend.

    • Zoe

       /  03/08/2012

      Feeling incomplete is exactly how missing him feels. I still wonder sometimes at our complete change of heart.I’ll take it!


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